Our Rabbi's Yahrzeit

This morning, in our daily minyan, I cradled the Torah and said the memorial prayer for those who had come to shul in honor of loved ones passed. Several individuals were observing Yahrzeit. But to the list of loved ones lost I added the name of my mentor and friend, Rabbi Howard Kahn. Yesterday was Rabbi Kahn’s third yahrzeit. And even though there were no family members present, I could still sense his presence in the room.

For many years Rabbi Kahn and I began each morning davening together. He liked to put his t’fillin on in his office before he came into the minyan. I always imagined that he intoned his own personal prayers during that quiet time, before he came and joined the rest of us. And then, when he made his way to the Chapel, he would sit at the end of the front row, usually with his eyes closed. When he stood, he often leaned against the wall, or turning towards it, hid his face in the small fold of the wall where the bimah began. At moments like that he looked to me like so many who lean into the Kotel, the Western Wall of Jerusalem, offering sacred words from deep within.

To this day, Rabbi Kahn’s place at the end of the first row is vacant. No one else sits there. And, given the fact that we may well move the shul in the next few years, chances are no one ever will. But the truth is, no one ever will fill his spot. There was only one Rabbi Kahn, and his presence will always be felt – not just at Beth El, but in the hearts of all those whose lives he touched.